Sorry to be late commenting, but I had no time yesterday to read this with the attention it deserved.
I love your portrayal of Doyle's family in this series - such a good, solid basis that makes him seem grounded in real life. There were too many great bits to quote them all, but right near the start you had this: "I've no idea what it could be." Doyle examined the envelope as if he were expecting it to contain a letter bomb rather than something from his family. I could really see this! And this: "Christ, you'd think I was asking you to face an IRA gunman, not talk to your own mother."
"Think I might take the IRA over mum." And that finally got a smile out of Bodie.
Personally, I think his mum's great, and the nore of this you write, the better.
Oh, and I have to endorse the "gobsmacked guppy" line - just perfect!
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I love your portrayal of Doyle's family in this series - such a good, solid basis that makes him seem grounded in real life. There were too many great bits to quote them all, but right near the start you had this:
"I've no idea what it could be." Doyle examined the envelope as if he were expecting it to contain a letter bomb rather than something from his family.
I could really see this! And this:
"Christ, you'd think I was asking you to face an IRA gunman, not talk to your own mother."
"Think I might take the IRA over mum." And that finally got a smile out of Bodie.
Personally, I think his mum's great, and the nore of this you write, the better.
Oh, and I have to endorse the "gobsmacked guppy" line - just perfect!