ext_137579 ([identity profile] magenta-blue.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] discoveredinalj2007-09-21 10:50 pm
Entry tags:

Drabble: Longing

*takes the plunge...*

The briefing is long and I try to focus, but I’d been at HQ since yesterday and it was beginning to tell. That is, until the door behind creaked.

I knew it was them, knew by the way the Controller twitched his lips, as if he longed to tell them off like they were children. Sometimes he forgot himself and did it anyway, and they’d respond like schoolboys, instead of men that fired guns.

They had the power to light up the room just by being there, even if the electricity they created was for them alone. Sometimes, I’d sigh…



[identity profile] myrebelcat.livejournal.com 2007-09-21 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw... our poor narrator! Is it Betty? I really like the way you described Cowley.

[identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com 2007-09-21 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, very nice! Love the pov... and they had the power to light up the rom just by being there - so them!

[identity profile] sc-fossil.livejournal.com 2007-09-21 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
A very good drabble. I liked the idea that even an outsider could see "something". Thanks.

[identity profile] heliophile-oxon.livejournal.com 2007-09-21 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
They really do light up the room wherever they go, don't they! Love the description of Cowley, lips twitching with the urge to tell them off - thank you!

[identity profile] probodie.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh nice. I'd like to think it was someone like Murphy, you know. But maybe that's just my slashy mind! Lovely stuff.

[identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 07:25 am (UTC)(link)
I enjoy a different POV, and this presents our lads so clearly - lovely drabble.

[identity profile] schnuffi.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, great idea with the different POV. I do sometimes wonder how the others might perceive them. Power to light up the room indeed. Love it. Thanks for plunging *G*
ext_112784: (guitars)

[identity profile] angel-ci5.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
I adore 3rd person pov of the lads, and this is lovely, thank you!
Especially love that their electricity is just for each other!

[identity profile] bistokids.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
Oh excellent! I loved the electricity between them, but the thing that gave me most glee was Cowley's lip-twitch, which put him inside this special kind of aura. Oh that's a rubbish explanation. Too early on a Saturday! But I loved it anyway. ♥

[identity profile] empty-mirrors.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 11:11 am (UTC)(link)
Not easy when you're on the outside of a relationship like that. Thank you!

[identity profile] nakeisha.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
Nicely done and intense.

[identity profile] crimson-37.livejournal.com 2007-09-22 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh this POV works wonderfully. I think it's because we know so much more than they may do. And them two are big kids, aren't they.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.


[identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com 2007-09-24 09:19 am (UTC)(link)
Love the different pov. Great!

[identity profile] magnifica7.livejournal.com 2008-01-14 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Outsider's POV - I like that! Well done! :)