NS: Point of Law

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

My entry for the autumn challenge (though the autumn reference is pretty well blink-and-miss). I was inspired by the news article yesterday on weird English laws.

Thanks to callisto65 for helpful suggestions and encouragement.


Point of Law
by Verlaine

"That’s treason, y'know." Doyle took a slurp of his tea and waved the cup in Bodie's general direction. "And just three days after Bonfire Night. Put you in the Tower, they will."

"Treason?" Bodie looked up from his scribbled figures. "Paying me gas bill? Extortion, more like."

Doyle picked up the envelope between thumb and forefinger. In his best PC Doyle voice, he intoned: "It is an act of treason against the crown and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, defender of the faith, etc., etc., to place a postage stamp on an envelope in the reverse position."

"You're joking." Bodie snatched the envelope back. Sure enough, the stamp was upside down. And now that he noticed it, there was something unsettling about the expression on the old girl's face when her eyes and mouth were in the wrong places.

Doyle shook his head. "Says so right here." He rattled his newspaper. "Can't put a stamp on upside down. And seeing as you're CI5'n all and should know better, it's the Tower for you."

"Nah. Tyburn." Bodie grinned. "Whipped to the gibbet, hung, drawn and quartered." He signed another cheque with a sigh, then brightened. "Did you know, they used to cut people down half-way through the hanging? That way the crowd could really appreciate the drawing and quartering part."

Doyle picked up his mug, then set it down with a grimace.

"Is there any nasty way to kill people you don't know about? No, forget I asked." Doyle buried his head back in the paper. Whatever else may have been lacking in Bodie's education, he seemed to have absorbed an unlimited fund of grisly stories in the murder and mutilation line, along with a freakish ability to remember the date—and outcome—of every battle ever fought in Europe.

"Hmm," Doyle said after a minute's silence. "Next holiday, we ought to invite Cowley up north to go hunting."

"What?" Bodie's eyebrows rose. "Cowley? Hunting?"

"Yeah. Says here that in York, it's legal to murder a Scotsman, provided he's carrying a bow and arrow."

"Forget it. You know how he feels about out-of-date weaponry. Besides, not really nice, knocking off Cupid, is it?"

To Bodie's unconcealed glee, Doyle blushed bright red.

"Our Cupid," Bodie declaimed. "Our Cyrano, our, our . . .Miles Standish!"

Doyle sank lower in the chair, raising his paper defensively. "Not like he was thinkin' of romance, was he? More like how to balance the budget on the backs of hard-working agents. Like yours truly."

"Worked a treat, didn't it?" Bodie licked the last envelope, and stretched happily. "That's the lot. Gas, water, electric. Might even be enough left for that holiday in York after all."

"We could do with some entertainment right now though." Doyle put down the paper and came to stand behind his partner, kneading the broad shoulders gently. "Maybe a more modern form of crime?"

Bodie tilted his head back and wriggled his shoulders happily. "Rob all the women and rape all the men?"

Doyle leaned down for a quick kiss. "Got anybody in particular in mind?"

"Yeah." Bodie rose. "And unlike Lillibet, I've got no problem with being upside down."

Title: Point of Law
Author: Verlaine
Slash or Gen: Slash
Archive at ProsLib/Circuit: yes please
Author's Name for Archiving (if different to above):
Disclaimer: Mine? Hah!
Notes:

Comments

[przed.livejournal.com]

Far too funny! I love the idea of Cowley playing their unwitting cupid.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Cowley does have lot to answer for *g*.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

And now that I know it, I *love* that last line - wicked! Your use of these daft laws, which are so very, very British, are a great giggle and the perfect topic for some Bodie and Doyle banter. Lovely.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Bodie does like to be irreverent, and I'm sure they would get a laugh out of some of these laws (I missed the opportunity to put in the one about not being allowed to eat mince pies at Christmas - horrors)

[(Anonymous)]

What a delightful story! I grinned all the way tho. Just the thing to cheer me up after a . . . discussion . . . with my son about getting a job.

I got the autumn reference, too. I think!

Wonderful way to start my evening, thanks for posting it.

[windrain10.livejournal.com]

I wanted to post again to confess I was the anonymous post. I didn't notice that I wasn't logged in, sorry.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.

[heliophile-oxon.livejournal.com]

This is delightful (even if Bodie's references are actually seriously grisly, brrr). Gives a lovely feeling of how comfortable and affectionate (and thoroughly un-mushy) they are together - thanks for the read!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I see Bodie as the kind of guy who'd get a kick out of all that grisly stuff (what makes high school history bearable for boys *g*). I'm pleased to have avoid mush

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Oh, Verlaine, how adorable! You did a fine job. I was working today, thinking about those laws. It's such a treat to see you write this. Thanks so much.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed. (And I am working on more when I can.)

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Oh excellent - thank you! And I especially loved Bodie wriggling his shoulders happily, I can just imagine his very satisfied, gleeful face! *g*

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed. I've noticed that when he's happy, Bodie is really physical. Reminds me of a big puppy dog *g*

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Aw, so cute! I loved having a smile on my face through the whole story.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, a delightful treat for a gray and dreary November day! Thank you! I can just hear them throughout this...and it's such a nice scene of them together, doing exactly what I'd expect them to be doing. *g*

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Very pleased it worked for you