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draycevixen poked me hard with her sharp, pointy stick. And this is the result. So if you want to blame anyone, blame her. MWUAHAHAHAHAH.From the quote: You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow. Get Carter.
10:00 pm
“Hey, Bodie.”
“What?”
“Bet you ten quid my cock is longer than yours.”
“No contest, my son.”
“No, go on. You’re just scared, that’s what you are.”
“Don’t need to be scared, I am what I am and what I am is bigger than you.”
“Chicken.”
“Sod off, Doyle.”
“Bwock, bwock, bwock.”
“Oh for...where’d you wanna do show n tell, then?”
“Toilets. C’mon.”
10:20 pm
“Ha ha ha. Told you so.”
“Bugger off, Doyle. Anyway, I’m a grower not a show-er.”
“Prove it.”
“Sod off. I’m off for a... Murph! What are you doing in here?”
“Apart from having a piss you mean? More like what you two are up to. Are you two trying to prove the rumours about you are true then and if so, don’t you have somewhere better to shag than these grotty toilets?”
“...”
“Alright, alright, I’m going. Bye lovebirds.”
“I’m gonna kill him, Bodie.”
“Get in line, sunshine. But he’s right; here wasn’t a good idea, was it? Not with half the squad in. Just think how it’d have looked to someone like Stuart, for instance.”
“Christ, yes. C’mon, I want another drink.”
11:45 pm
“Boooodiieeeee...where is ya?”
“I’m righ’ here, sunshine of my life. Wassup?”
“Bet...bet...bet...”
“Eh? You talkin’ ‘bout Bet Lynch-“
“Naa, shurrup Bodieee. Was try’n to tell you abou’...about...bet I’m bigger eric...erup...up.”
“What? ‘ve no idea what –“
“Les go home, eh? Wanna show you summin’.”
“’k. Think we’ve had ‘nuff to drink, anyway. See ya, lads.”
“G’bye all. Don’...don’...get too pisckled...”
00:25 am
“C’mon Bodie, get the key in.”
“’m tryin’, goldilocks. ‘ang on...there.”
“’bout time too. Now then...how’s about this, then?”
“...fuck you doin’ Doyle? Get your kecks back on. Why’d I wanna...see...bleedin’ Christ! Where the fuck’ve you been hiding that monster?”
“Shocks the girls, too. Wanna touch him, lover?”
“Gerroff, Doyle. Whatch’ think you’re doin’?”
“C’mere, Bodikins. Ikkl macho man wiv a softy heart. Giss a kiss.”
“Doyle!”
“Doyle?”
“Ohhh, Doyllleeee...”
07:30 am
“Owwwww.”
“Hmmm. Ouch, what did you go and do that for...oh fuck.”
“Doyle?”
“Bodie?”
“What the fuck are you doing here? More to the...ouch...point, what are you doing in my bed?”
“I have no idea. Just how much did we have to drink last night?”
“Christ knows. Last I remember was us...oh shit.”
“What? Tell me, Doyle. You’re blushing.”
“Um...”
“Doyle, you’re hedging. What’s up? Oh. Ohhhh. Now I remember.”
“You don’t need to grin so much, goldilocks. You’re as up as I am.”
“... So I am. Whatever shall we do about it?”
“...”
“Well, that’s a start! Do continue.”
“Yes sir. Don’t think I’m kissing you whilst your eyes look like pissholes in the snow, though.”
“You wanna kiss me?”
“Don’t you?”
“Well, just didn’t think Mr. Love Truncheon was into that sort of thing.”
“Love trunche...damn.”
“What?”
“If you’re gonna start calling my cock names, then we’re gonna have to start kissing.”
“Fair enough. Mr Rod of Steel.”
“...”
“Mr.-“
“Bodiieee!”
“What?”
“Shut up and come here...”
“...”
The End...or maybe, The Beginning?
Title: Show and Tell
Author: Probodie
Genre: Slash. Ahem.
Archive: Hatstand/Circuit/CD – yes
Disclaimer: Not mine. Sadly
A/N: Not beta’d. Obviously.
Warning: This ficlet is very very silly indeed.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 10:32 pm (UTC)*dies*
Love I’m a grower not a show-er. and of course, Murphy walking in on them. And Bet Lynch...
Thank you! ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 04:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 08:40 am (UTC)*chokes*
Laughed my socks off over this. Brilliant!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 01:12 pm (UTC)Bwhahaha! And Bodikins! Truly inspired drunkenness.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 06:49 pm (UTC)But I'm glad you like it :D
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 06:50 pm (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2008-06-05 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:03 pm (UTC)Ooh Schnuffi! Tut! Tut! I think this is rather a case of the pot calling the kettle black! Before making your acquaintance I was too busy with the church bulletin and the harpsichord practice to even ponder this... erm... sort of thing.
They are talking about... poultry, right? *bats eyelashes*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:06 pm (UTC)Well, that makes one of us... I had a few drinks and posted the first thing of mine ever to be called "cute and fluffy." Obviously, I didn't drink enough...
So... does this mean if we get you liquored up, you'll forget I already hit you a couple of times with the pokey stick? *thinks*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:14 pm (UTC)Poultry??? Well, it would explain those ominous bulges - sort of...
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Date: 2008-06-05 07:19 pm (UTC)Is that your Bantam Cock or are you just pleased to see me?I blame all of you! I can be appeased with stories... drabbles are acceptable. *flexes righteous pokey stick*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:21 pm (UTC)*runs off sniggering*
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Date: 2008-06-05 07:25 pm (UTC)*rocks back and forth*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:30 pm (UTC)Watch it, young lady - my pokey stick's still bigger'n yours *G*
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:47 pm (UTC)Everyone likes a good poultry joke particularly when properly stuffedPerhaps, but mine is titanium...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:48 pm (UTC)All right. Part of being a pokey stick wielder is knowing when to be merciful... *gives you more swiss roll as a reward for delivering two stories... so far*
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Date: 2008-06-05 07:50 pm (UTC)So? Mine has electro shock function *VEG*
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Date: 2008-06-05 08:03 pm (UTC)Is that why people are lining up for it?You see I decided agains the electro-shock function... unconscious writers don't in general type very fast...
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Date: 2008-06-05 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-14 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-14 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 05:14 pm (UTC)Love Murph's reaction to them - very laid back. Love it all really :)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-21 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-12 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-12 11:56 pm (UTC)