'Twas the night before Christmas Professionals Style - krisser

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the flat;
Doyle was tossing his clothing, this way and that.
Bodie's were hung in the loo with great care,
In hopes that the sperm couldn't reach it in there;

Then Bodie was waiting, all nestled in bed,
Hoping that Doyle, was about to give head.
Doyle rolled over naked, Bodie the same;
They humped and they humped until they both came.

When suddenly outside there was ruckus and clatter,
They sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Cause they couldn't help hearing the sounds of a crash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But the CI5 lads with pretzels and beer.

The little old driver - not very quick,
They saw it was Cowley and not dear St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles the coursers they came,
Cowley whistled, and shouted, and called them all names:
"Now, Anson! now, Murphy! Lucas, McCabe!
Susan n Betty's here, Don’t call them babe!
We must gain access, we must gain it quick!
They'll drink the Glenfiddich, lickity-split!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the landing, the agents all climbed;
Never thinking of Cowley left far behind—

And then in a twinkling, the lads were all there,
But too drunk to observe that the 'Partners' were bare!
Then Bodie and Doyle- they dashed all about;
Picked up the sex toys and threw them all out.

Cowley then entered, slammed open the door!
Demanded the whiskey, the sex toys and more;
He said he had plans, they were just about through,
When he sank to the floor, without telling who.

His snores were quite loud, could be heard on the moon;
Doyle draped a rug over, said he'd be out 'til noon;
The agents- all toasted their commander n chief,
and drank themselves silly in bloody relief.
The lads ended up plastered, asleep and a snore;
When Doyle winked at Bodie and showed him a door.

Inside was a hot tub, champagne, and delights;
Bodie smiled at his lover then dimmed down the lights;
The water was warm, felt good to the touch,
They'd have to go slow, or it soon be too much.

Bodie was hard, and fully erect.
Doyle grabbed it and teased and was just about set
Bodie heard him exclaim, ere he dove out of sight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

clement c moore with help from krisserci5

Comments

[macklingirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love the thought of Cowley slamming the door open and demanding the whisky and the sex toys. And then falling asleep without using them. *g*

Nice done! :-)

[loxleyprince.livejournal.com]

Well that was a much better Night Before Christmas than the original! Well done, you two!

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Funny and clever! Well done.

[hagsrus.livejournal.com]

Well done - ho ho ho!

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

You did Clements and the CI5 lads proud! This was quite entertaining! Good job!

[merentha13.livejournal.com]

OMG!! This is priceless. [Somehow I feel it is just wrong and you should be on Santa's naughty list - but I love it!]

This has to be my favorite:
Bodie's were hung in the loo with great care,
In hopes that the sperm couldn't reach it in there

Well done, you!

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I rather like that image, myself :)

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Well thank you. . . .it was fun:)

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I had fun and chuckled to myself.

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Thank you. . . . I had fun :)

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Well, as long as Bodie and Doyle are proud. . . I can strut a bit!

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sure I made Santa's naughty list several times=0

Thanks.

[cyanne]

What a fun piece of silliness, it made me laugh. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Heh. Oh, goodness. *g* You can't help but snigger all the way through that--and it scanned just right, too. Thank you!

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

I had fun writing it!!

[krisserci5.livejournal.com]

What's a snigger between friends!!! Thanks.

[freetraveller15.livejournal.com]

Love it! Funny, light-hearted and irreverent... Well done :)

[sw33n3y.livejournal.com]

Hee, that was so much fun! ...You may have even improved on the original. :D

I think my favourite part was Cowley arriving on the lawn with a clatter, calling all reindeer agents by name.