Fic: 20 years

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

O.K..., that's my challenge entry.

With the help of Smirra, I’ve translated one of my stories. (And I don’t think, that I will do it again!)

So please be friendly but truly!  – and improvements are welcome!

20 years

„...Ray!“
Bodie lowered his gun.
The bullet of Doyle’s weapon hit him at the same instant.

Bodie... More than 20 years since...
The moment he recognised him, he was sure, that all that time hasn’t  changed anything!

He tried to hide his panic fear, as he noticed the quickly growing pool of blood around Bodie’s head.
Did he, just to save him, kill the man who once had been his best friend?
He reasoned that head wounds always bled profusely. But what if he just missed the target for an inch?
It couldn’t be! He was practising every day – and was even better now than back at the time.

Bodie lay on his side, eyes wide open. He was breathing.
Ray got close to Bodie’s head, looking down on him. All he wanted was to take care of his friend, but he was well aware of the intent glance of his new ´partner´a few steps behind him.
Just with his foot he rolled Bodie on his back, to see where the bullet had hit him.
He whispered: „You’re dead... don’t move!“
To his relieve it really looked like the shot was only a glancing blow! Ray turned around.

The 2nd killer approached, reloading his gun. He pointed it at Bodie.
Coldly Ray looked at him. „I don’t know if you need two shots to kill a man – I certainly don’t!
Come on! Let’s move“
„But he’s still breathing.“
Ray shrugged. „A few minutes maybe. Who cares?”
Without waiting for an answer of his ´partner´, he went to the pickup and started the motor. 

 

**

Title: 20 years
Author: Firlefanzine
Pros lib/Circuit: Yes, please
Disclaimer: Just playing!
Genre: Whatever you want
Notes: Thanks to Smirra for beta.

 

Comments

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

Poignant!

Very tense and powerful.

I could really see the scene.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Ooh - excellent scene, very tense, although of course I now want to know what happens next! And, actually, what happened before too - how did they get to this place?! Thank you for giving me something to think about over my morning coffee!

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Thanks for comment!
Glad you like it!

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Thanks!
I think for the future it's quite easy to consider some possibilities.
But I really have problems to find a good reason to separate them for 20 years!
Must be something very, very extraordinary...

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

An intriguing scene and very powerful. And I too would like to know a bit more about how they got to that point in their lives.

Thanks!

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Hoooo! Seems it works, to make someone curious!
But I'm the wrong person to write on!
Thanks!

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

But I'm the wrong person to write on!

Why?

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Maybe in German. But translating into English isn't fun - more or less an act of
searching and guessing. At work I just need technical English, I'm not used to write stories...
But I've tried, you see...

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understand.....Your English is a thousand times better than the English spoken by many English people and I doubt if I would ever be able to communicate in German as well as you do in English.

[smirra.livejournal.com]

See? I knew you could do it. Now, go and do the Klansman coda, too.

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

:-) :-) :-)
That's very nice!

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Yes Sir!

...maybe in one or two years - when I've assimilated all the stories on my daily growing to-read-list! ;-)
(I consider to use some terms, I'm learning here, at work... would mix up the whole thing a bit!)

[smirra.livejournal.com]

In one or two years???

Agent firlefanzine, I want your report in my office Monday morning 8.00, sharp! At-least the first part! ;-)
(I did it again, been reading Carnall/Johnson's B/C story again, so I'm in the right mood for a line like that. *g*)

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

...must be an explosive mélange!
;-)

[smirra.livejournal.com]

It is. It shows what I find somewhat adorable in shash fanfic: that two men in a relationship are more of a desaster than a man & woman can be, because not only one but both reparticipants have huge problems to communicate properly *BG*

But don't let that distract you, Agent. Monday 8.00.

[smirra.livejournal.com]

participants was what I meant.

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

(whistling loud...)

Someday we should make a slash manifesto:
#1: Slash is the yearning for disaster ;-)

[smirra.livejournal.com]

It's at-least accepting that love easily CAN be disaster- if it's f/m, or m/m or anything else, doesn't matter.

[bistokids.livejournal.com]

Very intriguing and atmospheric. I'd love to know how they ended up on opposite sides (Bodie's gone and done something stupid, no doubt!) but I love that the feeling between them is still there, no matter what the circumstances.

[firlefanzine.livejournal.com]

Thanks for comment!
Yes it must be a very good reason!
Look at "Love Lies Bleeding by Shoshanna". I think the fact that Bodie kills an innocent man to save Doyle, would be a reason for Doyle to leave Bodie.
Must be something BIG like that!