DOOC: Touchstone by PFL

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

This is not what I intended to do today! Blame corvidology . She very kindly told me that she wouldn't poke me, given the current state of my life. Thank you! Um...but see, this quotation demanded attention:

I first felt a fist, and then a kick
I could now smell their breath
They smelt of pubs and wormwood scrubs
And too many right wing meetings. Down in the Tube Station at Midnight – The Jam

Touchstone

Doyle felt Bodie's fingers gliding over his implant, and he knew all was well.  After the fireworks, after sex, Bodie always seemed to be drawn to his face, and the cheekbone.  He would stroke it--sometimes just once, sometimes over and over again.  Doyle never stopped him, never turned away or rolled over.  Everyone needed a touchstone.

"I thought I was going to die."  His voice was little more than a whisper.  Bodie's fingers stilled.  "There were three of them, and they'd cornered me. I don't know why.  They'd been drinking."

"You were alone."  Bodie's voice was low, and hoarse.

"Yeah.  Always was in those days."  He tried to shift, but found he couldn't.  Bodie's fingers were warm, and that was enough.  "Reckoned I'd at least go down fighting."

"I've been there."

Doyle smiled, and wondered if Bodie felt it.  "Know you have."

"You remember it, then?"

"Impressions.  I remember being hit, and kicked.  Remember being called a sodding poofter."

"How original."

"Accurate, though.  As it turned out."

"Best revenge--be what they fear."

"All I could do.  They were never caught--there was no evidence."  He stilled as Bodie coughed, and waited it out.  Bodie's hand stayed on his face.

"But you...saw them.  Remembered them."

"I'd applied to Hendon."

"Ah."

"Anyway, I survived."

"Never say die, eh?"

"Better than till death do us join."

Bodie's fingers slipped from his face.

"Don't."  If Doyle could have moved to stop him, he would have.

"Ray."  Bodie sighed, but his hand returned to Doyle's face.

Doyle breathed in, tasting dust and dirt in his throat.  There were sirens in the distance--evidence of the world outside.  But all that mattered was here, between the two of them.  "I don't want your sacrifice."

"It's not always up to you."

Doyle was quiet.  Bodie had pushed him first out the door, but they'd both been caught in the blast.

"What is it, Ray?"

"Tell me the truth."  His own touchstone, never dared before. 

Bodie was the silent one now.

Doyle closed his eyes, and gave him cover.  "Hear the sirens?  They're coming."  They'd be back to normal, back to their lives.  They'd heal.

A finger caressed his cheek.  "You're not alone."  Another brush against his skin.  "Never."  The last word was a whisper.

Doyle swallowed.  "Never say die?"

"As long as you live."

A tightness that had always seemed to be with him, eased.  "I'm not dying here."

"I know."

"I'll hold you to it."

He heard the laugh in Bodie's voice.  "Till death, then."

Doyle nodded.  The sirens had stopped, but he heard voices calling, and giving orders.  Bodie shouted back to them.  His fingers stayed on Doyle's face.  Touchstone.

END
June 2008

Author: PFL
Title: Touchstone
Genre: Slash
Archive Proslib/Circuit: Yes, please.
Notes: I was supposed to be writing something else today. But I've enjoyed the other challenge entries so much...and I wanted to play!  Thank you to elizabethoshea and Anonymous One for telling me not to just delete it.

Comments

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

Awww, how can you do this? Pull all my heart strings in this one little gem? But then, you never fail, for me. Definitely thank you to you and to those wise ones who wouldn't let you delete it.
You have our boys so beautifully, saying just enough to lead us into where they are and letting us feel their connection - just touching.
Those last two sentences - lovely! I shall go to bed now, very happy for this little treat at the end of my day!

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Considering all the lovely photos you posted today, I'm very glad you found this enjoyable.

This was just a lark for me today. Because this image came into my head--Bodie stroking Doyle's cheekbone--and I couldn't let it go. I thought maybe it wasn't enough, but my friends told me differently. *g*

I hope you're having a good sleep, even as I'm typing this. And thank you for all the photos today!

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

You see Grasshopper, this is the true 7th Dan black belt pokey stick wielding power, knowing when to prod and when not to prod! *g*

Really lovely, the way it starts out appearing to be them lying in bed together but you didn't cheat, because "fireworks" is right there in that first paragraph too!

"Tell me the truth." His own touchstone, never dared before. Great turning point.

This manages to be very emotionally evocative in the simplest of language and so well suited to the pair of them and the circumstance they find themselves in.

Thank you, I'm so glad you found the time to play! ♥

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

knowing when to prod and when not to prod!
Clearly you are a master. Or I'm a sucker for reverse psychology... *g*

I did like the prompt, and it fed me an image I couldn't get out of my head. It did, indeed, actually start with them in bed, but...it changed as I wrote. *g*

Thank you for the prompt, the reverse psychology, and for the comment! I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

[windrain10.livejournal.com]

This is amazing. I've loved many of the things you've written, but this is just wonderful. So short but so powerful. I am printing this out to keep it.

I always thought more should be done in fanfic about Ray's face. I can't imagine how traumatic an assault would have had to have been, to shatter his cheekbone. That is not something one could easily forget or move past, I wouldn't think.

I can totally see this happening, and how Ray doesn't remember it all that clearly, but clearly enough. And it's so appropriate to see Ray mention Bodie's Army background in the conversation, reminding both of them that Bodie has had difficult times as well.

I can't imagine that you wanted to delete this, but I am so grateful to EOS that she urged you not to.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm glad you liked it! It was just an image that came to me with the prompt--and I couldn't get it out of my head. So I wrote it up this afternoon. I was really unsure of it, but my friends liked it, so... I'm chuffed you did as well. *g*

I've always liked stories that deal with Doyle's injury. It would, I think, be exactly as you said--something that would mean a lot to him, and would resonate with all sorts of emotions. In this case, I wanted that to be something that Bodie, in a way, took as his own. Proof of Doyle's existence, perhaps.

Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting!

[cyanne]

This is really wonderful. Took me til the end to catch on to where they were, but that's good writing since you didn't mislead on anything. I love fics that aren't what they seem at first.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

I love fics that aren't what they seem at first.
Me too. I like stories that give me more when I reread them--when I know what's going on. So, yeah, you've got one idea as you start this, but gradually it turns out you need to readjust your thinking, and then (hopefully), you experience some of what they're experiencing.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[zamaxfield.livejournal.com]

What an absolutely terrific surprise! I've often wondered why more people didn't work with the cheek as well. It's so unique. Okay, I shall now survive without this week's Coda. Please, don't you ever dare delete anything. We need to have you on delete button watch apparently, 24/7. I'll take the first shift... Immediately send me anything you're tempted to delete and I'll talk you out of it. *grins*

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

I can write really bad drafts, you know! Could put you into permanent shock, and there would we be, eh? Your stories need to be coming out as well! *g*

Hey, but I've done my duty--you can survive until next Sunday evening. *g* And thank you for the compliment! It was just a scene that demanded to be written.

[schnuffi.livejournal.com]

Oh you clever little thing! Turning things around like that after one thinks they're in bed together. Very intense and angsty towards the end. Never say die - that's the essence of their being, innit? Love it, especially the Touchstone.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

You know, it started out in my mind simply enough--them in bed, Bodie stroking Doyle's cheek, Doyle remembering (thanks to the prompt). But, er, it turned into something else along the way. *g* I rather like to think that Bodie, in particular, has gone from "whatever it takes to get the mission done" to "never say die"--because he and Doyle need to survive together. At least in my world. *g*

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

[sunray45.livejournal.com]

That is really beautiful. Such an intimate moment, when we think they are in bed, but no! You have given us a lovely twist at the end. Touchstone indeed.

Thank you.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hello! What am I going to do without your beautiful display of photos to start my week off? (Ah, I can look at my wallpaper and be inspired there, that's what. *g*)

I was definitely going for the intimate--something really tight, and close, that was meant just for them. A moment that means everything, you know? I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Well, since I had Doyle stroking Bodie's cheekbone, it's only fair that Bodie should get his turn! Oh, you had me completely at that goregous opening image. Just tightened up my throat and never let go really. I love how you do that, keep them so grounded and real, yet let that fierce love they have for each other shine through...and never the word is uttered, either. Magic, sheer magic. Am so glad that image popped into your head today. Go run - but gently, you - and get another one..*g*

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Absolutely fair that Bodie should get his turn! Besides...I just can't see that he wouldn't be drawn to that cheek. *g* And, you know, when I thought about touchstones...Bodie is always touching Doyle, isn't he? Maybe it means more than just the attraction. I like the idea of it being a sort of test--is Doyle here? Will he accept this from me? You know?

Just tightened up my throat and never let go really.
Heh. Excellent. *g* I was going for a quick, intense, intimate scene. That image took me by the throat on Sunday morning. *g*

Right, I'm off for the run now. Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Fair exchange, then!

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Oh very nice - and yes, lovely twist of reality, the contrast between what they're saying, and how they're being with each other, and what's happening around them... Thank you for not deleting!

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hey, glad you enjoyed it. I reckon you need all the Pros stories you can get just about now. *g* Happy Pros stories. Pros stories where they win through, against all odds.

Thank you! I did have fun with this one.

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely! Touch seems so important to Bodie, especially touching Ray, I could well imagine that as his touchstone. And Doyle knowing it.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Touch seems so important to Bodie
Yes, that was my thought. The image came to mind first, and then all sorts of things around it. It seemed like something Bodie might do--not words, but a touch that means everything. Or something like that. *g*

Thank you for reading and commenting!

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

Please cover your ears while I use the word ‘love’ far too many times.... I *loved* this story. Why? Well, first off it was beautiful – the idea behind it and the way you got that idea down on paper; I loved your use of the title word; I loved the rich feelings conveyed in the simple communication between the two; I loved the way the writing made me pause for thought, savour and actually dwell on the words and the sentiments behind them – I love writing which is capable of doing that to me. And I loved the twist at the beginning - the way the writing hinted that they were in bed - that was a *very* neat trick and clever, too, but a cleverness which didn’t sacrifice any of the story's warmth and appeal.

Yeah, I told you I loved it! Thanks so much for writing it.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

You are very welcome! No covering of ears necessary--I'm glad you loved it. *g* That image of Bodie touching Doyle's cheekbone is what struck me, and then all that it might convey and mean. And, in return, what Doyle's touchstone might be. A testing, a checking in, a reassurance. At least, that's what I was trying to work with. *g* And they really did start in bed, when I wrote the first lines, but...hey, you have to go where the story takes you. *g*

Thank you for your lovely comments!

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Lovely - I was afraid for them both.

Best line: "Best revenge--be what they fear."

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hello, you bad TW fan, you. *g*

Best line: "Best revenge--be what they fear."
I can just see Bodie saying that--and Doyle agreeing.*g*

Thanks for reading a commenting! It's great to see you!

[bistokids.livejournal.com]

This is just beautiful. I love its poignancy and intimacy, but especially I love how artfully structured it is, and how you get more on the second reading. Thank you.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

You are very welcome! I'm pleased that you feel rewarded for a second reading--that's always something I strive for. I just wanted to show a scene--a single, intimate moment between them. I guess it worked. *g*

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

[izzie7.livejournal.com]

Beautiful writing, especially how it moves you from one perception to another so neatly, touching on past traumas with that sense of deathbed confessions, just in case.

Glad you posted this!

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

sense of deathbed confessions, just in case
Yeah. Tell him, for once, because Doyle knows Bodie's thought about it, and never asked. And then try for his own need and test. Just one little moment between them, but it means everything. Or at least, that's what I was kind of aiming for! *g*

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for commenting!

[jgraeme2007.livejournal.com]

What a lovely little gem. Just a perfect example of skilled and evocative writing. There's no set up, no initial clues to location or mood -- you build it all through the skillful dialog and that clever use of misdirection based on reader expectation. Wonderful.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

You know, by the time I posted this last night, I was so used to the story that it seemed obvious to me what was going on from the start. In light of all these comments, I went back and just reread it with fresh eyes. Hmm. I see what you're all saying! *g* I mean, I intended that, but it had lost its effect on me. Cool.

Yeah, I just wanted to convey one moment of intimacy between them. But that moment has a lot of meaning--the past and the future; the two of them and the world at large; trust and tests. I like working in that small realm where every word counts.

So, I had a lot of fun. *g* I'm so glad it worked for you. Nice surprise on a Monday morning, eh? *g*

[heliophile-oxon.livejournal.com]

Owwwwwww! Damn but you scare me so - I'm never quite sure if they're both really going to make it ... but I could never not read it, you know? You hit it exactly, with Bodie's need to touch Doyle just to be sure he's there and that he can. Clever to balance that against Doyle's need to have Bodie come clean with him, and not hide behind one of his range of cynical/suave/tough/cold/angry masks ...

never delete these pieces of yours, never!

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Owwwwwww!
Oi! It's a happy story, really! Wimp! *g*

Bodie's need to touch Doyle just to be sure he's there and that he can
Yes, exactly.

Doyle's need to have Bodie come clean with him
And that too. You good reader, you! *g*

And it ends happily! *g* Doyle's not going to die; Bodie's not going to die. At least, not today.

Hey, thanks for stopping by and reading this. I like pleasing the person with the icon of the little, shaking rabbit.... *g*

[tiddletat666.livejournal.com]

Oh sneaky, here I was thinking oh lovely, nice little post-sex fic, and you turn it round upside down and back to front... but you do it so well.

My fav bit...

"Remember being called a sodding poofter."
"How original."
"Accurate, though. As it turned out."

Meah says hello, or she would if she was awake

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Oh sneaky
Well, you know, gotta keep you all on your toes! It was fun to play. *g* I'm glad you liked it!

And hello back to Meah, who should be awake by now--although possibly napping again, given that it is exhausting being so cute....

[smirra.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this, ecpecially as we suffer from the lack of pros watch & coda to go with it! Really love this - it's funny how these moments/pistures appear just like that perfect and deliver a perfect little story. Love the style of it how the memories fade in and out of that intimate moment as it's floatimg translucent to an end... err, sorry for this over-educated books review style, but I mean it. That broken cheekbone really is one of the pros details that are special to this fandom.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

I agree about the cheekbone. To me, it speaks a lot about Doyle's past, and the world that they inhabit. I ike it that Doyle, maybe, carries his scars on the outside while Bodie carries his on the inside. There's just so much there that we can ponder and create with. Well, this is why I've been in Pros all these years!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am working on the coda for next week. It's going to be a bit, er, different. *g*

Lovely and powerful

[(Anonymous)]

One minute I'm slipping softly into a seemingly intimate afterglow scene, and the next moment my heart does a little lurch when I realize the scene is actually the aftermath of violence. Gorgeous. Powerful and absolutely lovely. Of course I can't help but wish it was a scene in a very long, PFL Pros novel. :) Love these lads. Adore your writing. MaDonna

Re: Lovely and powerful

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hi MaDonna! I'm not sure you'll see this--I hope you do. Thank you! This was a lovely comment to read. It did start out as a lovely, intimate afterglow scene, but...well, it changed. *g* And then it really caught me and I had to write it like that. So, I'm pleased it had the same effect on you. I like the idea of capturing this sort of single, intense scene.

But, yeah, a novel! One of these days. Really.

Thank you again!

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Oh, very nice. You had me believing one thing then slapped me with another. I really liked that. Great dialogue and so much emotion. Thanks.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hello! Were you off at Con.txt? I started out believing just exactly what everyone else did...but then it changed on me. So, hey, only fair that you all should be surprised as well. *g* I love it when a story does that to me while writing--goes off in an unexpected direction. Apparently, that's the story that needed to be told.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[przed.livejournal.com]

It's astounding how much you've done with so little. Such remarkable restraint, building up the bond between them, and then the punch in the gut as you reveal what's happened. Lovely. Especially this:

Doyle closed his eyes, and gave him cover.

That's pure genius.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm glad you chose that particular line. I don't know about genius, but I was really pleased when it came out. That is exactly what Doyle is doing there and, I think, it's one of the reasons why Bodie told him the truth.

Just a little story, but...lots going on. *g*

Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment! It's good to see you!

[ancastar.livejournal.com]

I really liked this! Not just the emotion you were able to invoke, but the structure of it. And the spare quality of the writing. I like that I needed to figure out what was happening (and to be frank, never truly got confirmation--all we know is it was an explosion, it was bad, and the lads are wounded and trapped). I like how that's the impetus for them sharing something they normally wouldn't. It felt very real to me and in character. Thank you.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Hey hon, good to see you! I sort of needed to figure out what was happening as well, as I was writing this, so it's only fair... *g* I'm glad you liked it! You know, it's funny...each time I get one of these comments I go back and read it, being able, then, to see it fresh. And I keep liking it. I don't really have any more to say in the story, but I'm just sort of haunted by this image, and the moment. It does rather leave more questions than answers--although the big question is answered. *g*

Thank you for letting me know what you think of it!