Poem: November 12

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Sneaking in just under the wire, thanks to byslantedlight

November 12
by Verlaine

My granddad's buried out in no-man's-land somewhere—
The body never found
After the shells turned half the world to bloody sludge.
They say men drowned there in the mud,
Eye to eye with the skulls of comrades gone before.
I don't read books about that war.
When you're a soldier and you've seen the worst
That man can do to man
(I was in Biafra. Say no more.)
The reasons why a million had to die
Mean less than a handful of the stinking earth.
I killed a man today, because he held the gun
That would have brought some dignitary down.
"Well done," said my commander.
Would he say that if he knew
The only life that mattered there today was you?


My father fought his way across the sand to Egypt—
El Alamein they called the place—
Where Rommel made his stand, and what was to last a thousand years
Went down to dusty death inside a week.
He came home broken by the pain.
When all parades and banners had gone by,
Left on the dole, ashamed, betrayed
By those he'd fought and killed for,
His life a wreck of blood and dirt,
Then in his shame he tried to break us too.
(I've never told you where that scar comes from.)
You followed me today, across a burning roof,
The bullets like a deadly sandstorm whispering by.
You trusted me to see us through, and laughed
Amid the firefight. What cost?
Would anything survive if you were lost?


No uniform for me. Not anymore.
Once the badge I wore read "Who Dares Wins",
Proclaimed in light of day that those who earned it
Stood among the proud, the best this country had.
Today the rules of engagement are in the smaller print:
"By any means necessary".
No cenotaph, sunshine, not for us when we are gone,
What we do for Queen and country hidden in the dark.
You say we make a difference.
If that's true, I know it's mainly due to you.
(I've done worse than drown men in the mud.)
Your conscience marks the line that keeps me right
With man and God and maybe even self.
On the day the Reaper comes and calls the bill,
I'll go down to the ground without a qualm
If my blood in the mud keeps you from harm.


Title: November 12
Author: Verlaine
Slash or Gen: slash
Archive at ProsLib/Circuit: Yes
Disclaimer: Mine? Ha!
Notes: I'm not a poet, but this grabbed hold of me, and wouldn't let me do anything else until I got it out.

Comments

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Then in his shame he tried to break us too.
(I've never told you where that scar comes from.)

These lines were so sad. The entire thing was sorrowful yet it had a strong feel of bravery.

Your conscience marks the line that keeps me right

Very nice line. Thanks, V.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Kat. One of the things I really like about Bodie is his courage, and I'm pleased that came across.

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

I can see why it grabbed you--you transferred that sense beautifully. Great atmosphere, and that wonderful, real emotion between them. Thank you! I'm glad you made the deadline!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Once that first line came into my head, it just kept nagging me.

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

I really like the way you structure this piece, a verse each for his grandfather, his father and for himself. The way each verse then ends with a reference to Ray *really* hammers home where Bodie's loyalites lie.

Thank you Petal. ♥

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That's what I see a lot when they look at each other: whatever else they've got, they come first to each other.

[schnuffi.livejournal.com]

That's utterly and completely stunningly beautiful. Thank you.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank *you*. My poetry's kind of rusty, but somehow this didn't want to come out as a story.

[mistry89.livejournal.com]

A little more heartbreak in each verse - right 'til the last line.
Thank you.

This challenge has been extremely moving.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Bodie is both flip and stoic about his soldiering, and I get the idea that he found it a lot harder than he lets on.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Your conscience marks the line that keeps me right
With man and God and maybe even self.
Beautiful. The whole thing, but those two lines in particular really spoke to me. Thank you for this, glad it wouldn't let you go.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm not a believer in "Bodie the heartless merc", but I do think he and Ray balance each other quite often in the right/wrong dilemmas.