Discovered in a Valentine

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Not pink, not fluffy, not sweet, but I hope it still meets the spirit of the occasion.


Each Day is Valentine's Day
by Verlaine

Sometimes when Doyle wakes him in the middle of the night, wheezing and gasping for air, Bodie feels resentment sawing away at him like a dull knife. He wants to go back to sleep, wants to roll over and pretend he can't hear the sibilant hiss of air in ever-tightening bronchia. Instead, he gets up and fetches the inhaler, which Ray always manages to leave in any room except the one he's actually in. He rubs the shuddering back, and murmurs words he tries to make sound comforting even though most of him is barely awake and the parts of him that are wish he weren't.

Bodie can't understand why during his days in CI5, when it seemed like he was running on a permanent adrenaline high, he could fall into bed and be out like a light, and now it usually feels like he hasn't slept through the night in a year.

He knows that Doyle feels the same resentment towards him when a meal ends with him making an undignified sprint for the bog, courtesy of what's left of his stomach. Doyle loves to cook. He's got a cupboard full of cookbooks in the kitchen and pores over them the way other men do over a stash of porn magazines. In deference to Bodie's tricky guts, most of them are never actually used. Bland, boring and low-fat is the order of the table. When they go out, Bodie always has to argue with Doyle to get him to order the things he'd really like from the menu, instead of sticking to Bodie's limits.

He's not sure which of them resents that more.

Tonight, however, the emotion that fills him when he wakes isn't resentment. He managed an uninterrupted hour or so on the sofa in the afternoon; supper was vegetable ravioli, made from scratch by Doyle, who basked in satisfaction all evening. And though it is Ray's breathing that's awakened him, it's not the sound but the location that's got him awake.

Wide awake.

As he slides his hands through Doyle's curls to pull him closer, Bodie decides, not for the first time, that it is neither sleep nor food that forms the basis of his life. Those he can manage as he must. This, this being with Doyle, is life itself.

The End


Title: Each Day is Valentine's Day
Author: Verlaine
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Mine? Hah!
Notes:

Comments

[msmoat.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is life itself--and why this particular pair resonate with me. I can see them sticking with each other, being with each other, through everything. Thank you! Every day is Valentine's Day.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I see them the same way, with maybe too much stubborn courage to give up when many people might.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is lovely... My heart is breaking for them and knowing how perfect it is for them at the same time, and wanting more please of these gorgeous older lads... Beautiful Year is one of my favourites too... *g* Thank you!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That's the thing, as one gets older - things get harder, but at the same time more meaningful to hold onto.

[bistokids.livejournal.com]

This is very beautiful and makes me ache slightly to read it - you've given such a sense of the reality of a long-term relationship and growing old with someone, and I just adore the last paragraph, which captures such a lot about what love really is.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Very pleased you enjoyed it. Sometimes what counts most is being there.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

::happy sigh:: I love them growing older together... beautiful, thank you.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm pleased you enjoyed.

[draycevixen.livejournal.com]

This is lovely and quiet and deeply touching for Valentine's day in the way that day to day love and sharing outweighs any of the grand dramatic gestures. Turning up every day, loving each other when you're not being particularly lovable and trying your best, that's what counts.

Thanks, Petal! ♥

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm pleased this worked for you. I see them as having enough stubborn courage to get them through, when others might give up.

[mab-browne.livejournal.com]

I like the way that the reality of the annoyances and losses is mixed in the equal reality that they need and love each other.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I can see them as being stubborn enough to be handle those annoyances and make it through.

[andreathelion.livejournal.com]

I adore older lads and this fic is really beautiful written. Thank you!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm very pleased it worked for you.

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Geez, V, now you have me sniffling. How utterly sweet and devoted and loving. They'll be together through thick and thin. Thank you.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. i can see them as being stubborn enough to hang on and be there for each other no matter how tough things get.

[shooting2kill.livejournal.com]

I thought this was wonderfully written and I was very impressed, especially in the way you managed to invest such a lot of emotion into a fairly short space. And by the time I'd got to the end I felt strangely humble and yet very satisfied.

Thank you!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm very pleased this worked for you. I can see them being tough and stubborn enough to make it together through all the things life throws at them.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

This, this being with Doyle, is life itself. Amen. And this is a beautiful illustration of that. I love thinking of them exactly like this as they get older.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm pleased you enjoyed.

[norfolkdumpling.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. No quick fixes, ongoing challenges, but still them, together, loving each other. Nothing better - thank you ♥

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. This is how I see them as they age - with the stubbornness and love to get them through the tough times.

[saintvic.livejournal.com]

This was very moving. I loved how realistic it was, how it acknowledged the difficulties, and showed them together anyway. Thank you I really liked this.

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm pleased it worked for you. I see them as being stubborn and tough enough to handle the things that life throws at them.