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discoveredinaljOlder lads, Crackers universe
Discovered in a Gift Bag
by The Hag
"Mr Doyle... "
"What now?"
"You're much more grumpy than Mr Bodie," Yasmina accused.
Doyle suppressed a sigh, peering at the traffic jam ahead. "How many more of these parties are there before school starts again?"
"How would you wrap up a kitten?"
"What, you mean like in a towel to give it a pill?"
"Noooo," Yasmina responded scornfully. "Like for a present. How -- "
"I wouldn't. Get it into a proper carrier."
"I thought perhaps one of those gift bags."
"You could try but no guarantee it would stay put. What kitten?"
"Pitti-Sing. She'll be ready for a late New Year pressie."
A dire foreboding crept over him. "Who -- ?"
"Just saved you from fate worse than death," Doyle announced cheerfully, setting a large gift bag on the table and shedding his jacket.
The cats woke from their slumber, sniffing with interest.
"Mobs of beautiful women seeking to ravish me again?" Bodie suggested.
"Nah, took care of them meself. Don't I look ravished? Yasmina."
"Oh lord... Mind, she'll be a knockout in a few years. What's her latest?"
"Wanted to give you Pitti-Sing for a New Year present."
"Yer what?"
"One of Yum Yum's. Though why they named Siamese after Mikado characters --"
"A kitten?"
"Must be worth a few bob."
Castor leapt onto a chair to investigate the bag.
"Ray, you -- what have you got lurking in there? How did you put her off?"
"Told her you were allergic."
"But she knows about our pests."
"Ah, it's a rare one, just Meezers. Brings you out in a high fever and a horrible rash so remember if she mentions it."
"Meezers? Oh, Thai cats. Huh. She'll probably ask for Persians next Christmas. How many allergies am I allowed? Look out, Pollux is going to be in that bag any moment. What's in there?"
Doyle grabbed it off the table. "There was a shop window with two really nice-looking Scottie pups, and -- "
"Yeah, right. What's got the mogs so excited?"
"Fish for tonight."
"In a gift bag?"
"It was handy." Doyle removed a limp ocean-scented package and passed the bag over. "Have some Scotties."
"Well, now." Bodie retrieved a Black & White whisky bottle and contemplated its famous dogs label. "The white one's a Westie, you know. Cowley was moaning about it being a blend when somebody gave him a bottle and he threw that in for good measure."
"Ungrateful sod, he was. Bet he drank it all right. Fancy pouring us a couple of drams while I put the fish away?"
"Chips?"
"I'll discuss it with the cats."
"They can have the fish. Just give me the chips. And the booze."
"Watch it, mate, or I'll nip over and tell Yasmina you've found an antihistamine that works and you'd like her to deliver Pitti-Sing in person."
Bodie wadded up the empty gift bag: a perfect shot to Doyle's left ear. The cats pounced gleefully.
"Oi," Doyle protested, waving the fish threateningly. "Just get pouring or you can forget about any ravishing tonight!"
"Fate worse than death," said Bodie and went to fetch the glasses.
Title: Discovered in a Gift Bag
Author: The Hag
Genre: Slash
Proslib: Yes
Crackers et al universe
Discovered in a Gift Bag
by The Hag
"Mr Doyle... "
"What now?"
"You're much more grumpy than Mr Bodie," Yasmina accused.
Doyle suppressed a sigh, peering at the traffic jam ahead. "How many more of these parties are there before school starts again?"
"How would you wrap up a kitten?"
"What, you mean like in a towel to give it a pill?"
"Noooo," Yasmina responded scornfully. "Like for a present. How -- "
"I wouldn't. Get it into a proper carrier."
"I thought perhaps one of those gift bags."
"You could try but no guarantee it would stay put. What kitten?"
"Pitti-Sing. She'll be ready for a late New Year pressie."
A dire foreboding crept over him. "Who -- ?"
"Just saved you from fate worse than death," Doyle announced cheerfully, setting a large gift bag on the table and shedding his jacket.
The cats woke from their slumber, sniffing with interest.
"Mobs of beautiful women seeking to ravish me again?" Bodie suggested.
"Nah, took care of them meself. Don't I look ravished? Yasmina."
"Oh lord... Mind, she'll be a knockout in a few years. What's her latest?"
"Wanted to give you Pitti-Sing for a New Year present."
"Yer what?"
"One of Yum Yum's. Though why they named Siamese after Mikado characters --"
"A kitten?"
"Must be worth a few bob."
Castor leapt onto a chair to investigate the bag.
"Ray, you -- what have you got lurking in there? How did you put her off?"
"Told her you were allergic."
"But she knows about our pests."
"Ah, it's a rare one, just Meezers. Brings you out in a high fever and a horrible rash so remember if she mentions it."
"Meezers? Oh, Thai cats. Huh. She'll probably ask for Persians next Christmas. How many allergies am I allowed? Look out, Pollux is going to be in that bag any moment. What's in there?"
Doyle grabbed it off the table. "There was a shop window with two really nice-looking Scottie pups, and -- "
"Yeah, right. What's got the mogs so excited?"
"Fish for tonight."
"In a gift bag?"
"It was handy." Doyle removed a limp ocean-scented package and passed the bag over. "Have some Scotties."
"Well, now." Bodie retrieved a Black & White whisky bottle and contemplated its famous dogs label. "The white one's a Westie, you know. Cowley was moaning about it being a blend when somebody gave him a bottle and he threw that in for good measure."
"Ungrateful sod, he was. Bet he drank it all right. Fancy pouring us a couple of drams while I put the fish away?"
"Chips?"
"I'll discuss it with the cats."
"They can have the fish. Just give me the chips. And the booze."
"Watch it, mate, or I'll nip over and tell Yasmina you've found an antihistamine that works and you'd like her to deliver Pitti-Sing in person."
Bodie wadded up the empty gift bag: a perfect shot to Doyle's left ear. The cats pounced gleefully.
"Oi," Doyle protested, waving the fish threateningly. "Just get pouring or you can forget about any ravishing tonight!"
"Fate worse than death," said Bodie and went to fetch the glasses.
Title: Discovered in a Gift Bag
Author: The Hag
Genre: Slash
Proslib: Yes
Crackers et al universe
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no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 11:34 am (UTC)Perfect as always. :-)
no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 02:56 pm (UTC)Those two
Date: 2024-01-05 03:08 pm (UTC)No wonder those two get along so well; they definitely think alike, especially about certain physical activities. Thanks for the moggy story. Adding the Scottie and Westie was pure brilliance. They have such reverence for Cowley. Thanks for posting.
RE: Those two
Date: 2024-01-06 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 03:52 pm (UTC)Love these little looks into the older lads lives. 😍😍
no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 07:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 11:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 02:40 pm (UTC)fabulous as always-----i love your older lads!
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Date: 2024-01-07 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 03:32 pm (UTC)That was delightful. Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-07 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 04:38 pm (UTC)"They can have the fish. Just give me the chips. And the booze."
You always know our lads so well! Great writing, as always. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-07 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 07:06 pm (UTC)Thankyou for the enjoyable read.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-07 01:04 am (UTC)