[identity profile] crimson-37.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] discoveredinalj
Having another go. Here goes.


Deep Water

Chipped pale blue railings, weakened with rust, turned grey and black by the night.
Beyond them, the midnight of rapidly flowing waters, deceptively calm on the surface.
Fathomless dangers lie therein, open to those fearless enough to plumb their depths.
Was he fearless enough to plumb depths of equal magnitude?
To allow himself to get caught up in the tides of such a force?
The air stirred and the damp wooden seat resettled beneath him.
The weight of an unassuming hand settled upon his knee.
Caught up? Too late. He was already drowning with hope of no rescue.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”

Date: 2007-09-22 09:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrebelcat.livejournal.com
Mmm... intriguing! He'll take the leap (whichever one he is), I'm sure of it. He's got his partner to back him up, after all. ;-) I like the metaphor!

Date: 2007-09-22 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schnuffi.livejournal.com
Wow, I love that double meaning of danger and taking the plunge. And he will - what else can he do? Thanks!

Date: 2007-09-22 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
It's Doyle. Gotta be.*g* Wanted to stay up to see you post this - I love the imagery here, of him staring into the water and seeing his own situation. And then that lovely resolution - two simple words, a hand on his knee, and his course of action is clear.

Date: 2007-09-22 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sc-fossil.livejournal.com
I like this. The romantic in me always sees the love in spite of the dangers that are lurking.

Date: 2007-09-22 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] londonronnie.livejournal.com
Oh, sunshine! I found this incredibly moving.

Thank you!

Date: 2007-09-22 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] byslantedlight.livejournal.com
Ooh, lurking dangers to give them an edge... very nice! And The air stirred and the damp wooden seat resettled beneath him - lovely feel to this! Thank you!

Date: 2007-09-23 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] probodie.livejournal.com
Oooh nicely done, and very spooky too.

Date: 2007-09-23 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heliophile-oxon.livejournal.com
Lovely. Especially the way you described Ray (it is Ray, isn't it?) coming and sitting down beside him - that was brilliant. Thank you for this!

Date: 2007-09-24 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moth2fic.livejournal.com
It was instantly Doyle for me - don't know how you did it, even on re-reading!
Great images and metaphor.

Date: 2008-01-14 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magnifica7.livejournal.com
Your drabbles - delightful! :)

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